


It will all end te - in bliss

by MistyChildontheCastle



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 5 +1, 5 +1 things, Fluff and Angst, I tell myself I'll stop and then I don't, Insecure Brian, Insecurity, M/M, Maylor baby, Maylor fluff, Mpreg, Mpreg fluff really, Pregnant Brian, Roger being sweet, Why don't I stop?, set in the mid 70s, so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 03:15:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyChildontheCastle/pseuds/MistyChildontheCastle
Summary: !!!!!! Mpreg !!!!!Maylor with extra sad Brian mpreg fluff5 times Brian was insecure during his pregnancy +1 he wasn't





	It will all end te - in bliss

1.

It was all going to end up terribly, once he told them.

Brian was frightened. No band had understood what he did quite like Queen, and probably no other would in the future. No one would give him the freedom Fred and the others did, no one would allow him to write so many songs, to sing, to play piano and all of those things he did, specially if he was a late comer. Hell, he didn't even know if he wanted to keep playing music if it wasn't with Queen. They had been something really special, they had very good things and created beautiful music and Brian felt no other band would ever measure up.

Which really hurt, because music was such an important part of his life, it gave him a way to express all of the conflicting feelings in his head and in his heart, it was a way to let his frustration and sadness and anger hurt him less, become less burdensome. He loved being creative and he loved how his word sounded on other's people's voices and he loved getting a chance to be with his guitar making beautiful sounds in front of audiences. Loved bringing a smile to their faces, loved how they lit up when they saw him. He loved music, and he loved that his music was able to bring joy to people, even when he himself was feeling horribly. He didn't know how much he would last without it.

He was afraid of what being kicked out and replaced in the band would do to to his unstable mental health, especially now that there wasn't him to think about. A lot of people got depressed after having a baby and if he lost the band and his body was telling him to be sad... He could something rash, and he didn't want to. He had always wanted to have a family and he was everything this baby had. If he did something to himself the baby would be left alone, absolutely, completely. He couldn't do that to the little baby and he was afraid that he would be weak and eventually.... He wanted to give this baby a good home and someone he could rely on but he was afraid that if he lost the music he would lose some of his spark.

And he was not going to give up on this child, no matter how much grief he went through. He wanted it and even if it was at the cost of the band... Tears prickled at his eyes. They had just recently started becoming big and well known, doing really great things, and now... He had enjoyed being a part of it, of a band where everyone was important, where everyone wrote and gave ideas, which made so different from everyone else. There was a lone tear falling down his cheek. As he sat with his guitar.

Somebody else's hand wiped it for him.

"Brian, darling, you need to tell us what's wrong. At least tell me. I can't bear to see you like this."

It was horrible, because Freddie could see how much poor Brian was trying to pretend everything was okay and how devastated he was feeling inside. The guitarist looked at Freddie, knowing he couldn't hide this any longer.

"I'm pregnant, Fred. And I'm going to have this baby. Now, I know that I failed you before, that you lost concerts and great opportunities because I couldn't be there... And now... This is probably the last straw, isn't it? When your starting to become important your lead guitarist gets knocked up and can't play for months. I mean, after the baby's born, I've already spoken to my mum and she can look after the baby if I have to go record or in concerts, but... It will still be some time that I won't be able to...." Brian's gentle voice broke and there were some more lonesome tears going down. "I understand that you can't keep letting the band be held back by me. If you.... if you want to replace me, I understand. It's... it's probably for the best."

Freddie just wiped those tears and softly hugged Brian. Then he looked at him in the eye and said:

"Never in a million years, Brian. You're as integral to the band as Roger or myself. And besides, we don't want to overexpose ourselves, do we? We want to keep our fans waiting for more."

"So I can... still be in the band?"

"Always. As long as you live, you'll always have a place in Queen."

Well. That hadn't ended so bad.

2.

"That baby... is it mine? Do you know?"

Brian hadn't wanted to tell Roger, because he knew that it would end up terribly. They weren't even an item, they just had casual sex before or after show, to celebrate, to let off some steam, or because they thought the other was looking particularly hot that day and needed to do something about it.

There had been no talk of commitment, of feelings, of being an actual couple. Roger slept with a lot of other people and although it made Brian a tad sad, he wasn't supposed to say anything, because they weren't official, they were just bandmates who had sex because it was convenient (and really good too, exceptional even). They hardly even talked afterwards, Brian always had an inkling that Roger felt bad, as if he was lowering his standards. Yes, the sex was good and it was happening more and more often but to go from occasional encounters to having a child...

Brian understood that Roger hadn't signed up for this, that he hadn't wanted to make such a big step. So he was okay with being a single parent, he had the support of his mum (who was over the moon), he had Freddie and he had other friends... But he had known that dealing with Roger would be a delicate complicated issue, so he'd been putting off when to tell him. So much that he'd started showing, and Roger had figured it out on his own.

"I..." Brian didn't want to burden Roger with this, lively Roger, to Roger, with so many fans and so many opportunities... He thought about telling him it was someone's baby, but he couldn't lie to those big blue eyes.

"It's yours, Rog. I haven't been with anyone else... Well, in a very long time. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen...but I really want to...I'm sorry really..."

Brian was bracing himself for the inevitable explosion. For Roger to tell him that this was not on him, that he didn't want any part on this child's life, that he had still so much to experience and that he hoped Brian would pretend that the baby wasn't his... He was right, of course. Roger didn't have to tie himself down to someone he just casually liked because of a mistake. It wasn't fair on him, and Brian wouldn't want to make him do something he didn't want, for his sake or the child. But still, Roger was always getting angry, and Brian hadn't said anything, and this was such a big commitment, Roger wouldn't want to know...

But there was no screaming. Just a worn hand on his stomach.

".... my baby."

"Roger?"

"For months, Brian, months I've been wanting to... Make more of us, of what we have. But I told myself that I couldn't tie myself down, that there was too much out there... But I don't care for any of them, not anymore. They don't compare to you. This baby? This baby is my excuse to stay. To stop putting off the inevitable and finally giving in to the temptation of being with you forever."

"Roger, I..."

"I wasn't expecting this, I really wasn't, but now, wow, I'm, I'm really excited, and I... I want to stop this no string attached nonsense. I want you. I want our baby. I don't know what the hell took me so long."

Ok, so this hadn't ended that bad either.

3.

The backlash could be quite bad. They had been convinced that it would end up terribly.

Some tabloids had caught some pictures of Roger and Brian in an... rather amorous situation and now all the managers and producers were worried about lsing fans. Roger was a big draw for the fans, he was beautiful and trendy and the girls were drawn to his soft hair and his infectious smile and those lovable and kissable lips. They imagined themselves as the next Mrs Taylor and rebelled in the idea of disappointing their parents by dating a rockstar. Roger was one of the most beautiful faces in rock, and the management team was convinced that this was a big part of their success.

Brian had less of a following, but he appealed to a lot of people as well. The more intellectually inclined fans, the science enthusiasts, all of those people who just found guitar solos and riffs to be irresistible. Brian's soft voice and gentle demeanor also was quite attractive for a lot of the bands. If both of them were suddenly engaged, and with each other... It could be a PR disaster. The baby only made things more real, more unbreakable.

So now Roger and Brian were in a meeting, holding each other's hands. The pregnancy was quite obvious now, with Brian's baby bump growing each day. He was a bit over five months along and excited about what was to come. Still, Brian was a bit... scared about how everything would go down, when everything was so terribly personal, and intimate and he would in a very emotional and fragile state, but wanted to appear strong and collected in front of everyone....

They were waiting for Freddie, as usual. He was late, as usual, even if this something very important for the band. There was an air of tension, of anger, of violence. As if all the parties were ready to snap. And then Freddie turned up, with a big floral blouse and a naughty smile on his face.

A vaguely familiar man in a suit started speaking sternly.

"We need to address this crisis before..."

"Crisis? What crisis?" Freddie interrupted.

"You know what crisis, Mr. Mercury, the backlash from... those two being romantically linked, which could have catastrophic consequences on the fanbase..."

"I hardly think so." Freddie's melodic voice interrupted again, and he took out a small tape reported from the pocket of his jeans."I have had a nice chat with people form the fan club, some other people who bought our albums in stores, and look at what they had to say."

_"... Aren't they just CUTE? I mean, I love them together so much? They are so beautiful and talented and ugh..."_

_"No one else from outside the band would get them like they get each other. I think this is good, I think they are well suited for each other and I'm happy for them."_

_"Maybe it's one of the reasons why they're so good, you know? So special. Because there's always been this extra passion between them, this intensity."_

_"If it's true what the tabloids say and Brian is pregnant I mean, it's just going to be so adorable and perfect and watching them with a little baby might make my heart burst!"_

"Fans are loving this, darling. There's no crisis. Roger and Brian had put us on the headlines, and everyone is loving it." There was no room for doubt or rebuttal in the singer's voice. 

"But...."

"This is a great move for the band - and there will be no more talk about it. Meeting dismissed."

"Mr. Mercury..."

"Meeting dismissed."

"Now, darlings, let's go to have some drinks, I have some ideas about what can be done the months when Brian and Roger are looking after the newborn.

4.

Brian was feeling horrible, convinced something was wrong with him and that it would end up terribly.

He'd been too optimistic thinking everything would go all right. It had felt like a dream: he was going to keep playing in the band, Roger had moved in with him and they were going to have a baby girl. Too good to be true.

He'd been feeling bad, for some days, throwing up and with a mild fever, and now he'd start having terrible cramps, a lot of pains and discomfort in his stomach. Brian was terrified, convinced that at any given time there would be blood and they would tell him that there was nothing to do, that she....

Roger was more optimistic. He was convinced that this was just some virus that would go away with some rest and calm and nice herbal teas. He understood why Brian was worried, but didn't think that there was any reason why they should be concerned for the baby. No little stomach virus was going to kill any daughter of his. Still, it was painful to see Brian so distressed.

He couldn't do much because he was supposed to be on bed rest, his fever meant he didn't have the concentration for reading or doing word games, things like that. TV tired him out and visits made him feel self conscious about how bad he felt he looked, flushed and sweaty and so uncomfortably big. He'd been liking the whole big baby belly, he'd always felt that he was too thin and bony, little more than skin stretched over bones. He'd liked his big belly, stroking it (and how turned on Roger seemed by it) and now...

He didn't want to lose all of this, but he was hurting so much....Was it something he'd done wrong? Something he wasn't supposed to eat, some place where he shouldn't have been? Brian didn't know, but his pounding head found no other distraction than to go over and over through everything that he was going to lose....

"The baby's fine." Both the doctor and the midwife agreed. "And with some bed rest and sleeping you will be fine, too. There's no need to worry."

There wasn't? Did that mean that things were going to turn out ok?

5.

He was too big and ugly and no one would want him around ever again. His dream of a family of his own would end up terribly.

Brian was on his eighth month of pregnancy and he felt that everyone who looked at him must be disgusted. He couldn't play guitar anymore, he couldn't do so many things. The baby kept moving around, kept kicking and he was so tired and achy and just wanted to rest, but couldn't sleep properly.

His face looked wrong, none of his clothes fit and he felt useless, while Roger and the other carried everything for the baby's room, did all the work and he just watched, tired and enormous from the sidelines. Eventually Roger would think that he was too weak, too uninteresting and ugly, and he would take his little girl and find someone better to raise her and he would be left alone, tired and enormous forever, unable to play the guitar again, unable to ever be comfortable in his body again, alone, always alone and unwanted....

Roger was looking at him. Probably disgusted.

He leaned in and whispered in Brian's ear, as they were in a taxi home:

"You look so great today. Let's have a nice long bath together when we get home, yeah? I never get tired of seeing all of you."

Brian smiled. Not a bad way to end his day.

+1

There was a song in his head. Notes, that kept repeating themselves, notes that were his, notes that had come to him in the midst of the calm of that pleasant may afternoon. The weather was warm he was in the waterfront of a beautiful coastal town and there was music in his head. Brian felt more whole and at peace with himself than he had in years. He was sunbathing calmly on a bench, eyes closed, a book resting on his big belly. In that time and place, life was good.

Brian was happy with the place where he was, the people he was with, his situation in life. He was happy with his career, happy with his music, happy with his partner and about to have a child with someone he loved very much. It was one of those days that make you forget all the bad things, one of those days that made life worth living. But it hadn't been a smooth road until there, not at all.

Roger was coming his way, with a couple of ice cream cones, and a small smile. There was a joy in his eyes, a delight at seeing on the bench that made him even hurry more. They spoke about the sea and thought about names they liked. Made some jokes, let out some laughs. Cleaned each other faces with the tongue after they finished the ice cream. Heard the ocean's song as the waves crashed. It was bliss.

With Roger's head on his shoulder and a song in his head, Brian thanked the stars for allowing him to end p where he was, and looked forward for what was to come.

It was going to end.... No. It wasn't going to end.

It was going to begin, and continue, and gift them with more bliss.

The sea, the music, their love, their child. It was going to be amazing.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't meant to write anymore, but this idea came to me....  
> As usual, comments mean the world :)


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